真实批阅样例

一篇 Band 6.5 的作文,智能老师怎么看?

以下展示一篇真实雅思 Task 2 作文的完整批阅流程,涵盖四维评分、错词诊断、段间衔接与深度改写等环节的实际输出。

Task 2Band 6.5273 词

Many people believe that social media platforms have brought people closer together, while others think they have made face-to-face communication less common. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

展开完整原文 ↓
Social media is very popular nowadays. Some people think it can make people closer, but others believe it makes us talk less in real life. In this essay, I will discuss both sides and give my opinion. On the one hand, social media really helps people keep in touch. For example, my friends who study abroad can still chat with me every day on WeChat. We share photos, send voice messages, and feel like we are still close. Also, when there is a big event, like a wedding or a birthday, people can join online and send their wishes. So in some ways, social media brings people closer than before. On the other hand, too much time on social media can be a problem. Many young people only look at their phones when they have dinner with family. They dont talk to each other, just scroll the screen. This is not good because face-to-face communication is more warm. Also, online chatting cannot show real feelings like a smile or a hug, so it is different from real talking. In my opinion, I think social media is a useful tool, but we should use it in a right way. It is good to keep in touch with friends far away, but we should still spend time with family and friends in real life. Only in this way can we have a balanced and happy life.

智能批阅打分

对标雅思官方四维评分标准,从任务回应(TA)、连贯与衔接(CC)、词汇资源(LR)、语法范围与准确度(GRA)四个维度独立评分,给出 Band 6.5 的综合判定与每个维度的具体得分。

6.5

综合得分

TA
6.5
CC
6.5
LR
6
GRA
7

错词与语法诊断

逐句扫描原文,精确定位词汇不当、语法错误、表达不地道等问题,并给出每一条的具体修改建议。

vocab

Social media is very popular nowadays.

开篇过于口语化,缺少学术铺垫

→ Social media has become a defining feature of modern communication.

grammar

face-to-face communication is more warm

more 用法错误,warm 是单音节词应直接加 -er

→ face-to-face communication is warmer

vocab

we should use it in a right way

a right way 表达不地道

→ we should use it judiciously / wisely

段间衔接分析

不只看单句对错,更从段落层面审视论点之间的逻辑链条,指出衔接断裂、过渡缺失、论点呼应不足等结构性问题。

段间衔接诊断

第 2、3 段之间缺少明显的转折信号。建议在第 3 段开头加 "However, the picture is not entirely positive" 这类反方过渡句。

智能老师改写

沿用原文论点与思路,逐段标注问题等级(L1 表达升级 / L2 论证补强 / L3 结构重塑),给出具体改法与改写后段落,最终输出完整的 Band 7.5 范文。修改处以背景色标记,便于对照。

第 4 段 · 结论段L2 · 论证补强

💬 诊断

你的立场已经清晰但论证只停留在表态层面。

✏️ 改法

① 重申双方观点而非单方表态;② 加入一句对未来/趋势的展望。

原文

In my opinion, I think social media is a useful tool, but we should use it in a right way.

改写后(Band 7.5)

On balance, while social media has undeniably reshaped how we stay connected across distances, it is no substitute for the warmth of in-person interaction.

智能老师助教(未上线)

改写页的驻场讲解模块。可基于原文与改写结果,回应"为什么这样改"、"如何举一反三"等问题,并给出延伸练习建议。当前版本仅展示介绍,对话能力将于后续版本开放。

改写页驻场陪伴讲解

在改写工作台遇到不理解的诊断时,助教会出现在页面右下角。基于原文与改写结果,回应"为什么这样改"、"如何举一反三"等问题,并给出延伸练习建议。

下个版本开放

看看你的作文能被改到什么水平

提交一篇雅思 Task 2 作文,智能老师将输出四维评分、逐句诊断、段间衔接分析与深度改写。